Recognized and Recognized

Often, we don’t see in layers; we scan the surface and lose interest. Last time i went to deposit cans, i saw in layers.

First, i was noticed by two men who were depositing as well. They had ragged clothing (dirty sweaters and ripped jeans) and glared at me, like they were staring at something new. Both were obvisouly from a different economic class and while the one guy was really friendly to me, the other was more taken aback. i began depositing bottles and saw the shyer one was waiting to use my machine for his handful of refundables. i took my ticket and offered to let him go ahead (because i felt bad that he would have to wait for me to finish). He hesitated a moment (?maybe he was unused too the politeness), but gave a nod of appreciation and began feeding his bottles into the machine.

i got thinking why this was, why they were acting so polite to me and realized that there was some underlying factor which, blatant from their expressions, set us apart. Aside from appearance (we probably looked equally unkempt) i had cans and bottles that were unrefundable. The other two guys only had cans they could return.

i must've looked goofy with my unrefundible bottles of Steel Reserve, Bud light, Arizona tea cans and Joose. This project was started because i wanted to throw myself into a new community, one that people don’t notice and don’t really pay any attention to. i got lazy, collecting cans at a house party is cheap, it is an excuse to stay in my comfort zone and undermines myself and my goals. Next deposit session, i will properly prepare for and venture to the streets for my collecting. i have also noticed that bottles are a waste of time; they’re heavy and take up more space than cans.

Although i’m disappointed in my progress to involve myself in another world, i feel good about what i’ve done so far. i have become more aware of my environment and more mindful of my place in it, which is the first step. One cannot be involved in a community without first being aware of its existence and simultaneously allowing the community to recognize your own existence. Last deposit trip i was recognized and i recognized.